Dark Mirror Oracle

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WHAT IS A DARK MIRROR?

Potentially it is the murky surface of our wounded, scarred spir­itual lakes. As we live out each day in our modern society, our spiritual self is under constant pressure, often a neglected and abused child in the cold mansion of our humanity. We do our best to nurture and protect it. but we often fail, distracted by duty, rea­son. greed and. unsurprisingly . the pull of the material world Or, it could be the screen of a mobile phone, a laptop or pad. or even a larger silent TV screen. Isn’t it ironic that we give to these black devices the power to be the windows to our world?

Still, even with all the faults ol being human, its a little cliche to see darkness as our only way to lx real and true to ourselves. Its not lhal.

Darkness - as light, as hope, as energy - is an ingredient to life, a part of the spiritual as much as it is a part of the emotional and of the physical. ‘Darkness is also a metaphor for many psychologi­cal processes we go through everyday. It's not an unknown world, neither is an unexplored and dangerous land, h's just a part of us Oracles are a simple tool to ask a question and receive an answer They allow us to delve deep into the darkness of who we are and why What changes, among them, is what kind of questions and what kind of answers.

FIVE CONCEPTS

Each card within the Dark Mirror Oracle has an aspect relating to one of the following five concepts. As you read over each card, use these ideas to understand what is going on in your own spiritual soul

The Moon. The Moon is about the cycle of nature. It waxes and wanes. It gives us a rhythm to our life in the darkness. Not all darkness is without light, even if it's with the light of the Moon

Grief Processing. Pain, mourning, grief they happen They come. They stay. And they can break us apart. Our mind cannot fight grief directly, instead it slowly processes through the emo­tions with time, walking through five different stages:

1 - Demal. In this stage, we try' to numb our emotions to the pain We're refusing to accept the event which brought on the feelings We try to delude ourself that "it didn't happen", or that what hap­pened can be turned around.

2 - Anger. Once we cannot numb our emotions and act like they aren't there anymore, we give space to anger. We redirect those, still too painful to bear, emotions outside We blame, we fight, we scream. We take it out.

3 - Bargain Once anger subsides and we have exhausted our strength, we try to cope with the grief by postponing it. making it less severe or less urgent We try to talk our way out of the con­sequences, accepting what we want to hear, and rejecting what we don't.

4 - Depression. As bargaining is doomed to fail, we take all of our emotions inside, bringing them in the darkest cave of our heart We let them fester, and we hide them from the outside, letting them gnaw at our inside, as we bring out a mask of indifference.

5 - Acceptance. Ultimately, even our self-destructive effort will fail Rather then destroy ourselves, we somehow digest these emotions and make them part of our being. We allow sadnesij tn. And by being sad, we express our grief, and move forward

Visual Seed. A description of lhe card as it looks like It could offer a meditation seed So look at the card and let it speak to you

Sentence. Reflection upon the card meaning through a single sen­tence to think or meditate on

Going Dark. We fear the dark Yet sometimes we need to embrace our feat and walk through it. Il is not an easy task, because - even if we are strong - the darkness can also be strong. It is a pari of us, and strikes where we are weak It is a necessary process, some­times. Stare into the darkness, walk into the darkness, and let the darkness m. Look into a dark mirror.

A SIMPLE WAY TO READ

When you feel sad. and dark When things looks uphill, and you are Hooded by negative emotions and feelings (or lingering mem­ories for those) . use the Dark Mirror Oracle.

Just draw a card.

Take the time to look at it.

Let the card accompany you to the dark side. Look into the card for the reflection of your shadow. Your shadow is all about those negative feelings. Follow them.

Then look away from the dark mirror and come back to the light. Take a big breath Do not think about it too much, too soon. But think about it.

llWWWiy. .

A MORE ADVANCED WAY TO READ

Reluming to the very first topic of this booklet, what kind of ques­tions would you ask a dark mirror?

-  Questions you don't like the answer

-  Questions which force you to change

-  Questions which make you deal with pain and pressure

QU:STIONSY<H DON! LIKE HIE ANSWER

Life is filled with two-ways choices When you arc undecided between iwo options, the more you think about them, some­times the harder u is to make the choice Smiling to yourself, Hip a coin. Heads become choice A. while tails is B. Flip.

Just a second before you look at the coin, stop and look within yourself. What are you hoping it will be? What result are you cheering for? That’s will be your choice-

As you can see from the above trick, even something as random as flipping a com can bring clarity to a situation. “Random" is not the answer, rather it is the catalyst to unlock our own decision mak­ing process In many occasions, our unconscious mind is much faster than our conscious one Sometimes we don't ask questions because we fear the answer. Or we ask the question, but we do not really focus on it. rather chasing detail after detail, staying clear ol the core subject.

Please understand there is no way to force yourself, unless you are not ready When you are ready to face the question, have confi­dence. and know the road that begins from the answer may take you to wondrous places.

Try the cards. If you arc ready, you will find an answer. The cards become the catalyst to help you thread where you are scared, or uncomfortable, or when you are constantly procrastinating, ex­cuse after excuse.

QUESTIONS WHICH rORlT vor tocHange

Change is a natural pan of our life. Its another word for growth adaptation, learning, evolution.

As the world morphs and moves around ns. change is our way to be real Unfortunately, we like to think that the world does not truly transform, that it's actually stable and static. Stable and static are comfortable: we abhor change

The cards can be used to be a catalyst of the process. Not a process of change, yet. but a process for understanding how we wont lose ourself changing, and that we need io actually⁷ really change.

It is truly difficult to change while still being true to yourself. That's the point of whal change offers us as a process. It's nec­essary. Changing in a way that is not an harmonious growth is just violence Sometimes self-inflicted violence Sometimes its not much different from domestic abuse.

But the opposite is as unhealthy. In front to the need to change and to evolve (a need that can come from within ourself, or from the outside .. like our partner, our child or our workplace) we |ust go blank. We change something to be able to say (to ourselves mostly) “I tried ", “look I changed", but we do not change what we really need to.

Imagine a husband who has trouble with her wife When she has challenges, he offers solutions and advice. She gets angry⁷, or she is grateful, but every- time it happens, she simply feels more lonely. As he is a loving husband, and he can feel her pain, he knows he needs to change (yes. she also needs to change, but love is first about what we can do, nol what others can do). He needs to learn the art of listening. It's change But before the end result can come lo fruition, his journey takes a long time and effort. It won't he just a difference in behaviour, it will be a difference in him as a human being.

QUEST TONS WHICHI MAKE YOU DEAL WITH PAIN AND PRESSI RE

Pain and pressure are often two faces of the same coin. Pain rarely hurts much if it's a new thing. As time goes on, the distress hurts more and more We refer to this as trauma, or "wounds". Pressure is our reaction to what life throws to us. We fight back, and we gather more responsibilities upon us. They burden us and slowly choke out our freedom space. The options we have to go through our day dims, day after day until only pressure is left. Dull and heavy And we feel that the only way out is to surrender rather than fight

Unfortunately, pain and pressure are part of life. An ugly part, and they come far loo often to be comfortable. They needs to be faced. Sometimes they need to be processed Broken through and endured, transformed into something that gives us more space to exist as ourselves.

Using the cards can help alleviate the pain and pressure form var­ious traumas we face in life.

WALKING THE CARDS

It's time to meet the cards and their reflections.

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Moon Phase              Stage

Waxing Gibbous        Bargain

If something hurts me, I change myself so it can stop.

VISUAL SEED

Headless mannequins crowd against each other under a cold neon light. They are dressed in luxury clothes and pricey accessories. Among them, one has a crowned skull floating where her face was supposed to be

SENTENCE

Not all that ghtters is gold. Emptiness is felt when ihere is nothing under the dress.

GOING DARK

The Triumph of Lies is about appearance. And appearance is always so important in the world Day by day it seems more important. Can that be a lie too?

We seek to be what the world outside desires - and not necessarily soci­ety at large. Our family or partners or friends place judgements on what we should be. In the dress we choose, we carve a mask of expectations, behaviours and values, to live by. It offers stability to ourself and to our relations, as being honest and true to ourselves can be too tiring, too easy to make us hurt. Unfortunately, the relationship with our mask is not as straightforward as it feels. Inside the mask, envy grows, vanity takes root, lack of self-confidence becomes an habit It gnaws at us, and hurt us from the inside

It feels like it is ourselves. But it's not really authentic. It is just a lie we have made habit to believe in. When our lies became a gilded cage, and our dress became a burden., we should remember lhat we were born naked.

i  mi ii xti»i i oi ,\n boia

Moon Phase       A Stage

First Quarter   J         Depression

1 feel I am not worth enough.

VISUAL SEED

A succubus-like creature with claws resembling nails holds a ven- thin silver chain. And the pendant on it. appears like a crimson tear of blood.

SENTENCE

My body is the temple of my soul. It has no secrets to me

GOING DARK

This card is about the darkness in the body. Culture can make us take distance from what is our corporality. So many religions and customs, for instance, demonise sex m many different ways, lacing it with guilt, as an assassin could lace food with poison. On the other side, we are collaborators in cheapening our body, hiding it. being shamed by it, selling it. giving it away for nothing. It happens when we accept an abusive relationship, when we refuse to respect the body of another., or more simply when we do things like being too lazy to eat healthily.

Our body is a temple. It cannot be defiled. We can take a shower, raise our chm. feel proud. It is our body. Ours!

OBSESSION

Moon Phase Waxing Crescent

Stage

Denial

There is nothing else that can replace my focus.

VISUAL SEED

An elven face, the hair entwined with bark and thorns, stares at a blank, clear, empty round mirror.

SENTENCE

All things led to one. And then they disappear into one Until only that one remains.

GOING DARK

We chase comets, and mirrors, and shadows. Sometimes, we actually chase cars. Or myths. Obsession is a trick of our perception. Many became one And that one bloats as to take everything else. It feels like it - whatever it is... an idea, a person, an objective. . - flavours our life and gives meaning to it. As all the light through a lens, it converges on a single point, and that point goes ablaze, under the greatest fire. But in truth, more than enacting our life, it numbs our attention to the rest It makes us feel more awake, by hiding the rest of the world under a cloud of slumber. Obsession is a drug. In small doses it whips. In big doses, it kills.

If we drown inside an obsession, we should close our eyes. We don't die in the darkness. We just fall asleep, and then we can wake up more naturally.

1. I. is mis mi?

Moon Phase New

Stage Acceptance

I cannot recognize myself. But I'm still me.

VISUAL SEED

A dark fantasy female warrior, with pale skin, is enshrouded by a scanty spiked bikini armor. She holds a fanged bat hilted sword against a back­ground of fire and ruin.

SENTENCE

1 cannot recognize myself As I can't remember the road that led me here, how can 1 see the road ahead?

GOING DARK

This card is not about an affirmation, but rather a question. Is this me? Can 1 recognize myself? Maybe yes. maybe no. But for sure. 1 lost the road I had once, the last time 1 stopped to really think about it. In my heart, I feel maybe like the high school girl lhat went to the prom But truly I am now 45 and I weight thrice I feel my true self as the kid that wanted to play soccer with the Real Madrid All this while punching numbers on an Excel file, out in an insurance office II is not necessarily something negative as a dream lost or corrupted 1 could see myself as "love is the most important thing in my life", but actually 1 have a very well paid job that makes me travel, and I sleep alone in hotel rooms. When did we last look at ourself in a mirror? Do we like what we are? Make no excuses, because the choices which made what we are. are our responsibility. If an old dream is dead, it’s time to dream anew. If the old dream is alive, its time to go back to it.

(.11.1)1 1> RI GRI I

Moon Phase Wining Crescent

Stage Bargain

I feel like living in the past.

Please, give me Jive more minutes to linger

VISUAL SEED

An elven queen with heavy eyes, her dress as blue as the clearest water, her crown of thorns and golden clawed flowers holds a blue orb in her hand.

SENTENCE

Memories are like floating underwater. safe, warm and murky. Yet they held the scent of death.

GOING DARK

The cage of our memories is the most gilded. Lmgenng to the past, savouring crumbs and flashes, hints and ifs... "But" is our sword. “However” is our shield. We follow the river against the currents to a sea of maybes. We cannot say “life is here, now" We just say, “life was here”. So that even when the future builds, day by day. we still look backward to memories and possibilities. Options we missed, things we lost, changes we fled. It is like staying in the twilight of conscience, in the blessed state of those “five minutes” between the time the alarm rings and when you actually have to wake up Like little kids, between the lime mum calls and the time we need to wake up. And run. But those 5 minutes are taking up too much time. They are the drain of our energies, or our opportunities, of our future. The ifs are now gone. Whatever has been has been already, isn't it?

i>. \IO\1 l\ Dll WORLD

Moon Phase

Third Quarter

3

Stage Acceptance

In solitude I stand; in solitude I may shine.

VISUAL SEED

Under the morning light, in a closed and silent court, paved with Slones, laced by trees, a beautiful woman sits naked on a precious bench Many blankets or drapes are around her. in color red and white, like discarded wings.

SENTENCE

1 made my home a cloister, my heart a chalice for the faintest breeze, and yet 1 stand alone

GOING DARK

Waiting for something to come back When we parted ways, we prom­ised to each other "I will wait for you", and "1 will come back”. We may have used different words like "it's just for a few months" or a sharper pen, like I don't need you". Still we are watting Mind has lost hope. Body has lost memory, but our heart is still incomplete.

It is shrined into a blessed feeling of longing and desire, innocence and hoyie. But it is also entombed into a well of solitude and distance It built walls to stall the passage of time, and the walls kept out ev­erything. Will the prince come, or has the world gone silent while we waited?

Waiting is a transition. It has a beginning and it has an end. Waiting is the night. Morning brings the sun of a new day

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Moon Phase f                  Stage

Waning Gibbous             Anger

Even if I have to break apart, as long as it serves a purpose.

VISUAL SEED

A beautiful female knight wears heavy armor She holds a blade in front of her. and a blade of light slices across her face, showing the deadly seriousness of her stare, the minor of her resolve.

SENTENCE

I have accepted my duty and in my release I found freedom

GOING DARK

There is a strong power in sacrifice. Our fears, our hopes, they are all chains to a small world Our sense of self is a small petty creature, of uncertain resolve and shaky horizons. With sacrifice, we renounce our sense of self We accept to be lost. We accept to be shaken, and cut. and bruised, and hun. and burdened, and locked, and stncken, and de­spised. and gossiped, and betrayed, and be misunderstood, and be left alone To rot To die With just words of thanks, while the world goes on over our broken dreams, but when we drown our sense of self to sacrifice, we are also a greater person. We are screaming “1 exist! I make the difference" We accepted a price to pay, and we used our blood and tears as currency That give us the right to stand tall.

nil ( Hll I) I WAS Ml AM IO Bl

Moon Phase

Full

Stage

Acceptance

An instant of clarity is the light I needed.

VISUAL SEED

Tones of lemon yellow and plum magenta, with castings of sky blue and bright morning white The serene face of a woman with gentle gesture, holds a small growing plant, made of dreams and new leaves.

SENTENCE

To go forward is to go backward, as hope heals the w'ounds of the past.

GOING DARK

There is little darkness tn this card, h is a card of connection with our­selves. So many times it feels like dream Its fleeting, uncertain and yet clear The moment you close your hand to grasp it. it turns into fairy light and disappears But it remains as a lingering smell, and ephemeral feeling of light, and peaches and blossoms. It is faith. It is hope It is a warm smile at the other side of the forest of smoke and mirrors. We can be whole again. We can be pure again We can be happy again. No matter what we did. we can. Just know this as a gift of light, among the cruel darkness. It brings no road. Sometimes no solace. But it can become a seed of hope. A wind of change. A place Io safety in the storm Even if its gone... it was definitely here.

i  wio( s (,n no\¥

Moon Phase Uitxing Gibbous

 

Stage Denial

Going la the edge of the ravine, savouring the idea of letting go all restraint.

VISUAL SEED

A man has rotting sickly skin and yellow eyes. He dresses in tatters, and sticky blood runs down his chin He has clawed feet, and a crown of a skeleton alligator jaw The upper part on his head, the lower part on his chest, like a gaping mouth.

SENTENCE

There is hunger sleeping just under the surface, like an animal lurking.

GOING DARK

This card is not just dark. Il is unpleasant Sickly disgusting. The dif­ference in the how we feel m front of a vampire as opposed in front of writhing bugs. It's not an existential darkness, that we can paint of romance, drama and subtle anguish. It is raw. primal, reeking of rotting stench. Il feels like there is darkness, and in that black landscape there is an hole, leading to an even greater darkness. And that is calling. The urge is pressed down every lime, played with, toyed with, treated like something that doesn't belong here. Its like rolling in the mud. bringing out the twisted refreshing feeling of demeaning oneself.

The key is that we don't want to recognize the depth of the envy and the anger. We casted it out of ourselves, and now it's truly a parasitic monster, impossible to accept as something that came out of ourselves. What if we bring light to the pitch dark well? What if the scary monster is just a scrawny, starved feeling What if its just a little thing... dark as tar. indeed, but to be sorry’ of, not to be feared?

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Moon Phase

First Quarter

c

Stage Denial

It is better not to feel, rather than feeling pain.

VISUAL SEED

A dark horse prances proudly in the background, unnoticed by a man kneeling upon a pond. He wears a crown of myrth, his face expression­less. Behind him wings of smoke and bones grow, or disappear

SENTENCE

Apathy is the crowned king of nothingness, and the shining queen of whatever.

GOING DARK

We can lx Siegfnd. the dragonlslaying hero. But not when he slays the dragon, nor when he is betrayed and dies, but when he is simply doing nothing. We can be Michael the Archangel, while he waits bored and motionless, and Saint George, surpnsed m a moment of stillness and nothingness. All the strong rivers can become a swamp when they reach the plains. And the most yummy food, can become gummy after a couple of hours unattended on a table There is a lot of darkness when we make the habit of going grey. We numb our senses with a fog of delays, and then we just get indifferent to the fog herself. "I'm here." we whisper And if - by a very tiny chance - someone notices and replies and asks "who's there?”, we become shy and we stay silent a little more You cannot be saved unless you face the dragon. And the dragon hurts. Of course it does.

\l)l)l( II I)

Moon Phase Uixxing Creseent

Stage

Depression

It’s not about choosing the chains. It's about choosing them again anti again.

VISUAL SEED

White sparkly hair over .1 scarred, melted downcast (ace. Is the hand melting or already long gone? A chain chokes his neck, and many spikes pierce the back.

SENTENCE

Freedom was the worse of lies. I could have been a slaver or a slave, but 1 choose the latter.

GOING DARK

Addiction to something To drugs? To love? To company? To evil? To pain’ To safety? To making simple everything that can be deep? Oh they have in common the feelmg of being lost if we ever are without it Freedom is not a fnend, as it promises responsibility, failure, challenges Freedom can be taken Can be broken; Can be stripped naked and whipped and abused. Slavery is a much cleaner choice. If you give it all away at the beginning, how can they take it from you?

So .. how can it be that is so easy to believe that freedom is an illusion, and its so hard to feel that slavery’ is an illusion as well? That the sky has a limit, but the chains have one as well? The irony of it all, when we lose the desire • much before losing the will - to fight.. is that actually is possible to reach For the sky even when bound by chains

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Moon Phase

New

Stage Buigain

Ij I don't feel the warmth of the sun, will I blame the sun or myself?

VISUAL SEED

A female figure .. an android or a robot, with cyber lines traveling over the skin like gentle spiders. A black choker of feminine servitude, and jade eyes of futuristic indifference.

SENTENCE

Building oneself to specifications. Steeling oneself to adversity Dream­ing of electric sheeps.

GOING DARK

Once upon a time - it was a time of flung monkeys - someone tour­neyed to a place that wasn't Kansas in order to gain a heart. Oh... such a charming old-fashioned fairytale. A new heart can be bought on the internet now. and be delivered in a couple of days with a brand new shiny instruction manual. It works, too

It gets the job done It's not a job of feelings. Its scnpted. Like a |ob of numbers. Actually it feels like a trade off. We find refuge in the rational mind, which in turn gives us back the illusion of control. But we still feel. We still long to live through our emotions fully. We are truly like an artificial knight that wants to become a real person. Happiness is not in numbers, but its not because numbers are bad It is because there is nothing that - alone - can grant happiness, and guarantee it. We trade in the natural world for artificiality and then we blame this choice as the reason why our sky has no color. What if it’s not actually connected? What if it's just an excuse? What if even an artificial heart could beat and fall in love and drown in sorrow?

I  . Bl 1X1)1 I) IO l>\l\

Moon Phase Waning Crescent

Stage Denial

I can shoulder it, and it’s not a big deal, isn’t it?

VISUAL SEED

Flies, pinned. Not pinned, bin ordered as bees, feeding of the neat­ly arranged blood A woman's chest, carved by a blade in a diamond pattern. Full lips - the color of blood A blindfold on whom the last fly lingers.

SENTENCE

Carving oneself for every stroke of whip, and feeling so broken that it makes no difference to be whole

GOING DARK

T.S. Eliot said,a fly that lives a single day has lived as long as we." Yet we accept the passage of time like it didn't matter Like we don't matter. Every day a single line is added to the pattern A single fly is added to the wall. We take one more responsibility We take a little more abuse We shoulder a little more pain We smile in front of a little more insolence. We close our eyes to our wounds. We think we can endure it. “It doesn't hurt. ' ‘it doesn't hurt," we say to ourselves. Like men because its manly to endure and be strong. Like women because it's feminine to endure and be strong. Like humans because the care and gentleness we feel is precious to others, and we don't dare to actually claim for ourselves. After all., we can do it. But it actually huns. Its painful. Tears are better than feeding flies with our own blood W'e can scream. And say no Or endure, nevertheless. But remembering that we are just humans. Neither heroes, nor saints.

II HIDIM, YOI K TRI I SIU

Moon Phase f           Stage

Third Quartet V    Acceptance

Hiding is keeping things inside. Luck of trust becomes lack of hope. So there must be a limit.

VISUAL SEED

In the dazzling light, there is an hint of a door, like the door to a Ham­man. Outside, draped tn scarlet tunics stand two women, one under the sign of the sun and the other beneath the sign of the moon.

SENTENCE

You could be in front of the mirror, or you could hide behind the mir­ror, yet you chose to be the mirror.

GOING DARK

Hiding is a survival instinct. Do you want to be honest and truly be yourself? Ven’ few people will accept you then You are too complicated to be comfortable. Too contradictory to be easy. Too exceptional to be believed Too plain to be considered. You can be the sun, you can be the moon, you can be the door, you can be the road, you can be the butter­fly and the brick. Maybe the question is not "if", but "when". Sometimes real solitude is when there is not a nght moment to be yourself. And not the nght person And neither the nght way. Being yourself is like a mo­ment at the spa. It is a massage for the soul. A purification process that bnngs tn oxygen and turns away age and wear. It is bliss and pleasure.

MASQl I R\l>l

Moon Phase               Stage

Waning Gibbous         Bargain

What I can’t have forever. 1 will have for a minute.

What I can’t have for a minute, 1 will hold to me for one second.

VISUAL SEED

A men's face, young in the flesh and in posture, with a wide open shin Over him appears the most complicated and baroque hat. straight from a Venetian carnival.

SENTENCE

Under the guise of Cupid, I will come to you. Under the guise of a thief I will fly away.

GOING DARK

There is often guilt m taking the mask of Don Juan. Or Dona Juana The seducer is not a master of love, neither of manipulation. He is the mas­ter of the ephemeral. Of what is fleeting and brief and transient to the extreme. He is the master of the moment, and as such he forgot all other kind of eternity. There is guilt if you care, because you arc not building. There is guilt out of loss, because you are not treasunng. There is guilt out of indifference, because when you don't care, you cheat yourself of meaning and value Sometimes there is guilt m the selflessness, in the desire itself, in everything leading to pleasure As if the only pleasure that can be sacred arc only those labeled as such The masquerade is a dance It is a road that goes in circles and ebbs and flows and always ends with the first light Before the time comes hold it tightly. When the time comes, let it go.

Bl \( k IIOWIR IRAGRWd

Moon Phase              Stage

Full                         Anger

The world is unfair. Fuck off dear world. Fuck you.

VISUAL SEED

A beautiful woman, her face with a hint of resolve, holds a strange black rose on her chest. It seems to explode like a crystal. Each petal an obsidian shard.

SENTENCE

If we want to go dark, go black. Don’t stop to the evening, but embrace the night!

GOING DARK

Love is not a white dove, nor it turns people into angels Love can be ugly. Love can be cheap. Love can Ire rotten. But. even ugly love has a right to exist. Even cheap love can raise to the sky. Even rotten love has the dignity of eternity. Even a black rose by any other name should still smell as sweet Even if you are wrong, you still have the nght to be angry. Even if your not perfect, you have the nght to be respected. Even if you are stupid, you have the right to be listened to. Even if you are lucky, you have the right to complain Even if you are rich, you have the nght to be sad. If you cannot shine because you are beautiful, then shine even if you are ugly. Shine because you are ugly Gorgeously black. Ugly as love, worn out as an angel, cheap as a crown¹ Uncon­quered as a fragrance in the night.

17. I 0HG1THXG OX LSIII

Moon Phase              Stage

Waxing Gibbous         Denial

Time as an eternal present, not fleeting but locked. No progress is no regress either.

VISUAL SEED

A naked young man. whose curly brown hair are intertwined by a gold­en laurel crown Half of a golden mask protects his eyes, while the sky around him breaks, ripped to take the shape of a mistletoe branch.

SENTENCE

Eating the lotus flower, numbing our identity to go by the sound of a music that was never ours.

GOING DARK

A modern Adonis, an ancient Hermes, a grown up Cupid shnned by laurel, myrth, and lotus. He is the welcoming allure of the present mo­ment. The warm embrace which numbs everything else, like Bacchus's wet kiss. If you let go of the pressure and of the pain, if you let go enough of your identity and of the context you live in, then you will just feel better. It is what happens when you fall asleep, when you take refuge in the arms of a loved one. or when you watch a movie slumped ungraciously on a confy couch. Sometimes, however, it asks for more It takes more out of you. More of yourself to be forgotten, to feel just a little better. And maybe the twisted idea that if you forget everything, then you will actually really (eel better. Forgetting everything Letting everything go. Not just as a moment of rest, but as a jump in the dark It is like vertigo You stand on the edge of the precipice, and a little pan of you wants to jump But it isjust a moment of rest. A moment of pause A moment of uncreative selfishness. So what .. let it be. and sleep soundly.

111. V\kl i) BIIORI 1111 MARS

Moon Phase

First Quarter

c

Stage Acceptance

Accepting our own beauty, in size, color, age, and fat.

VISUAL SEED

A beautiful, curvy, woman wears lacy lingerie One is a black corset, and she kneels in her full sensuality, under the lights of a million arti­ficial stars.

SENTENCE

There is no perfection that is worth enough. There is imperfection, as proud as the heavens!

GOING DARK

What do we see when we look in a mirror? Do we see something we like, or something we dislike? Something we care? Or something we are slave of⁷ What do we compare ourselves to? To the stars of a media firmament leaking into our real life? To the social models? To the beauty queens and kings of the eternal pageant⁷ To our inner self? To the idea we had when we were younger? To the eyes of the people loving us? 1 wonder what feelings the words curvy, cute, chubby, fatty, rounded. . arouse within us? If a smile, or distaste or recognition? The quest for beauty is not an empty quest. Even if beauty is not as deep as the ocean. still when we shine, our world becomes brighter. But we will always feel naked in front of the stars. We should just leam not to blush, and stand proudly.

i>\R\sm

Moon Phase Ufaxing Crescent

Stage Depression

When the only answer to lack of self-efficiency is to cling to another one.

VISUAL SEED

A long haired man with a pale faced heavy eyelids. A dull golden chain drapes over his forehead. Around his body and through his body, a poisonous ivy grows and clings subtly to him.

SENTENCE

What can't survive alone will seek company But instead of growing together, they will wither together.

GOING DARK

Relationships are not a zero sum game. Of course, "using'' each other is part of the game. But it's quite different when use take the shape of sup­porting, rather than manipulating or exploiting In the long run. a good relationship is a win-win. where the more 1 give, the more 1 get. and the other way around. Still, its not always like this, isn’t it? Not just in bad relationship In the short run. bad is bound to happen even m the house of true love. We cling. We bite. We hunger for safety, and freedom, and support... and on the other side, we get mangled, bitten, demanded on Well, it happens. It happened, and it will happen again. It is pan of the game. But if it happens too often, it creates a toxic environment. It doesn't matter if we are the victim or the perpetrator, as poison is shared equally. One gets the pain, another one gets the advantage, but the toxic part . they troth get Fully. A parasite.. a leech. . kills itself as much as it kills the host. Il sacrifices the journey to the destination, and then the destination to its own failures The problem is not living as sheeps, but the true problem is living as a sheep for one hundred years.

IM>\\\( \SI PRIDI

Moon Phase

New

Stage Depression

Bending to adapt becomes an excuse for the habit of bending.

VISUAL SEED

The eyes, dark with dned blood tears, look downwards The lace of a dark skinned beautiful elf. with gold laurels among her hair, is stem and motionless. Roots plunge into her body from a golden collar. The sky behind her is as grey as concrete.

SENTENCE

The root of sadness and gnef is deeper than the skin The only delusion is the grey sky.

GOING DARK

Survival is a direct consequence of adaptation Whai we call adaptation is not the result of a subtle but constantly constructive change of our­selves. but rather a mockery of it, as we strip day by day of our dignity in order to avoid conflict with a world that would spread us apart. How- can we endure this? Maybe through the power of responsibility? Or through an hidden core of identity? Sometimes we doni use the best part of us. but rather we draw from the ugliest. We survive and bend our knees because we draw out from our laziness, fear and disgust. We let our deepest roots go dry. replaced by what can only be called “a surge of lack of self-esteem' We arc deluded, when we think that we are only sacrificing our pride. We cling to vanity, but we can t afford dignity Isn't it sad? Honestly, the true delusion is our faith in Fall and Winter, while we discard Spring and Summer as fairytales The sky can change color, too. as long as we sometimes look up. we can notice.

71. BRIDI l\ \ ( \(.l

Moon Phase Waning Crescent

Stage Denial

Tomonow will be the right moment. Tomorrow will be better, even if today is hell.

VISUAL SEED

A gorgeous, white wedding dress shines through the neon grey artificial light of the evening. It is worn by a mannequin with a dissociated skele­ton head It seems like a happy place, if not for the light The mannequin stares at the outside, while a purple laser gnd cage holds n tn.

SENTENCE

Did we die waiting for the perfect day? Or were we never alive?

GOING DARK

When we put the good of our life just in our expectations. we can dismiss the present, waning for the dawn we know will arrive. The future be­comes a shopping can. It needs a bit of this, a bit of that, a few kilograms of that and also a couple of boxes of another this. When we look at it. it shines like a brand new day in a commercial And as it happens with commercials, when the future comes it’s not exactly perfect. The smile is forced, the day is too hot or too cold, the kiss is dry, the lion limps softly and doesn't roar. As long as something is not here, but is pushed funher along the timeline, we have the luxury to take it off of reality and treat it as a fantasy We push forward and we push forward, until we actually catch up with our dream and then we crush. The future should not feel like a cage. Not even a gilded, wonderful, handmade designer cage The future is a tree. Gnarled, rough to the touch, full of flowers only in spring... dense and damp through the rain. Absolutely imperfect!

1. 1 \\()\ l ( in IOR Wl

Moon Phase Third Quarter

3

Stage Acceptance

Sometimes when it’s over, closure must be created, not just found.

VISUAL SEED

With her back to the light of the moon, a beautiful woman with deep blue eyes sheds dry tears of blood She holds in her hand a drop shaped vial, full of blood as well, and she gestures forward as if offering it

SENTENCE

I gave you my last gift I shed my last tear for you. It's a time not to let you free, but to let myself free.

GOING DARK

Breaking up can only be done by two persons. One will do it earlier, maybe But sooner or later the other will follow. One can afford to do it with words and actions The other probably will only be able to do inside her own heart. Its painful. Its definite. It's hard It’s sometimes, necessary Breaking up is not just letting go of a person You are letting go of a part of yourself, of hopes and dreams, and trusts... you let go of feelings and memories. You let go of the emptiness you felt and the connection you relied onto Anger will help at the beginning, but the Iasi part of the road can’t be done by just anger Closure comes when you dry up your tears. It is a gorgeous moment when you allow yourself to, frankly, don't give a damn about it All that was past is not a credit or a debt, it is just suddenly no more then a gift. You can raise your chin. After all. tomorrow is another day.

/ KI \ I \<.l

Moon Phase      (Stage

Uniting Gibbous          Anger

It is time to lake arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing end them.

VISUAL SEED

A complex magic glyph illuminates the ground, as a pale woman, dressed in black seems to surge from it. She has blood crimson eyes, a white Hower garland, and two plain swords. Her wings are made of withered branches.

SENTENCE

There is no white knight, but there can be a black storm woven by fallen angels.

GOING DARK

What if there was a place where there is no more time lor words? No more sense to bargain or negotiate? No more survival instinct to accept fear or ponder consequences? It's a place we can reach, at the limit of our abuse, with the last spark of our dignity surging up as a powerful black flame. We cry. we hurt... and we strike. To destroy.

We destroy not for ourselves, because we are gone. We destroy for the fairness of the world. We destroy because if there is no sweet justice, there can at least be cruel revenge. We destroy for those who came earlier For those who would have come later We destroy and as we destroy we forsake ourselves

There is no going back. Because coming back from that requires much more than force.

/ ' (M I 1 \ 01 \B WORLD

Moon Phase

Full

Stage Bargain

I set limits to my world. Inside 1 um queen ami outside is lost.

VISUAL SEED

Onto a snowy background, white columns rise through the forest A pale women dressed in scarlet bright red with a crown of thorns and a white luminous lance strides forward, her posture confident and her feet bare

SENTENCE

I am my world, and my world is me. I am royalty!

GOING DARK

There is a space out and a space in. There is my realm and what is mine, and there are other places. I will not care if my world is made of thorn and ice. and if it's carved by my blood. My world is my world. I rule. 1 decide his borders and I am law, 1 am princess, I am the blood in the veins of its heart. 1 am the wamor and the bnde. 1 am alone and 1 am the first among many. Be fearful of my world, because it's paved of my hopes and dreams, and you have no power there. I am greater than the stars and more beautiful than the moon.

1 \l I l> 10 SI I I I R

Moon Phase                    Stage

Waxing Gibbous        Depression

Feeling confined into a script, forced by other, anti never really fought. Heading toward a destination of pain.

VISUAL SEED

In the coniines of a foggy forest a misshaped woman hands a green and red apple to a younger woman with red lips, dressed as a sen ant

SENTENCE

If you know the future, you forsake your choices. Only with no fate, life is free to unfold into unknown shores

GOING DARK

Once upon a time, we believed in fairytales. They were the voice of common sense The educational tool which prepared us lo duty, danger and morals. Some things we would never accept if they were told by a single voice. So the world arranges us to hear them with a thousand voices. A million voices. It's about what you can do. and what you can't do. What are you worth, what can you aspire lo. It's about what you like, what you want, what you hold dear. It creates a script which be­comes as strong as all the voices that believe that script combined. So much that you cannot see another path.

Are you truly seeing Snow White in the card? Is this story truly the only one that this image can tell? What if the apple is not poisoned? What if the witch is not evil? Is that the same at what you look tn your life? Is it truly what you think it is? Are there not any other options? Is the opin­ion of others honestly better than ours, even if they arc many and we are only one? Are you fated to suffer? It is not that there is no suffering in the world. The point is that there is no fate.

pi \( in i \MOX(. moms

Moon Phase  A Stage

First Quarter  J         Acceptance

The spiritual can't solve (he material. But it can transcend it.

VISUAL SEED

A futuristic monk, his skin crossed by small circuitry, meditates in the lotus position. A eight pointed star, inscribed within a circle is at his back, like thorns piercing the air. A golden lotus aura envelopes his body.

SENTENCE

Coexistence of the material and the spiritual is the human way to en­lightenment.

GOING DARK

We lalk too much about spiritual stuff. Spiritual that, spiritual this. Not that the spiritual side isn't important, especially in an age when every­thing seems reduced to a materialistic drive, but aren't we going too much to the other side? 1 have a money problem. Go spiritual I have an health problem. Go spiritual. 1 have a love problem Think of true love and go spiritual. I want to have sex. Go spiritual If we were truly able to solve problems like this, what is spiritual would have been sold in grocery' stores. Sometimes to solve money problems you need money And to solve love problems you need to fuck. Strange, but true Get­ting spiritual is not what solves our problems It is what give depth to our solutions. It makes them meaningful It takes us from the small to the wide, from the river to the ocean But sometimes we are not ready to make it our center, and therefore it’s perfectly fine if we do not.

I R \G\1I \ I \TI()\

Moon Phase

Waxing Crescent

Stage

Anger

When rage is projected inward, destruction joins confusion and we break.

VISUAL SEED

What seems to be a cold iron coal rack is lopped by a broken stone statue of a fairy, visible only from the chesl up. Stone roses are at her breasts, a crack cuts her face and her body, a jewel is on her forehead, and silvery insect wings stand at her back. A crescent golden slice of the moon is like an halo behind her head It is possible to glimpse, suspended in the void, also the hands of the stone fairy.

SENTENCE

Losing a sense of self is a crescendo of noise, a decrescendo of pain and a prelude to nothingness.

GOING DARK

If I were to cut off my legs, would I still be me? If I were to carve out my heart, would I still be me? If my flesh would turn to stone? If my lungs were emptied of air? If my drcam to fly were to lie forced tn chains, and hanged out like an expired balloon? Would I still be me? I fought and lost. Broken. Beyond recognition. Not by the shallow sight of bystand­ers who can pity but who can't understand. I cannot even recognize myself. Through the sobs, through the tears, and when silence finally comes, trough the empty motions and the conventional smiles. Who did this to me? I did. maybe. Maybe not. What is broken can be mend­ed. not so that it returns whole, but at least until it tells his name anew. My name. And who will do that to me? I will.

PIRIlIWfi ro DRI W1

Moon Phase

New

Stage Denial

If 1 sleep long enough, when I wake up the pain will have been gone.

VISUAL SEED

A crowned naked man is reclining, his eyes closed and his body dis­solving in the wind. Another man holds hints gently. Behind them a circle of brass, risen by thin silvers' threads.

SENTENCE

To die. To sleep. Perchance to dream. Or...

GOING DARK

It's the time to surrender. To drown. To dive in. headfirst, in the cozy all-envelopmg darkness of the blanket It is a moment of weakness... a desire to close your eyes and surrender, just for one moment.. one second., one minute Not like an hero, lighting the world, but like a kid. just welcoming the darkness outside, within. Fully.

How long will that moment last? A minute? We can say just a min­ute. but its not true. Disappearing is but an instant, just the time to lake a breath twice.. and yet. it can lake ages. Ages we will regret. Ages that we will have lost, like stolen by our own surrendering And yet we close our eyes. We let one sense after the other slow down to nothing. Sight first... then hearing... and smell .. Iasi will be lhe touch. The comfort­ing hand we all deserve. To hold us up when we have done enough and we just cannot but let it go.

WGI R \\l) (1I\I\S

Moon Phase  (            \  Stage

Waning Crescent        k J     fencer

Force channeled outside. Unreasonable, undirected, but powerful.

VISUAL SEED

Lions, and sparks, and chains, and signs, and lines all mettle together. Geometry and colors, like an explosion.

SENTENCE

I've got to break free. I want to be free.

GOING DARK

Anger is not the road to clarity. Its not a controlled effort or a cold dish, h is raw. Primal. Explosive. It is the loss of reason, the loss of restraint. A bomb burning bright in black color. A wax seal carefully crafted to be immediately broken But anger is also freedom. How can you break a single thread woven with a million others? How can you unfetter your­self from a bad situation letting all the rest unchanged’ It doesn’t work like that. When you need to break free, you need to shake and shout .. and more things will be broken then just what you want to hurt. They arc like a bundle You can target, but you cannot choose Break many to break one Save one to save many.

(\iii\g mi storm

Moon Phase

Third Quarter

> 

Stage Bargain

Power comes not from the inside, but from connection and integration to a greater whole.

VISUAL SEED

A shaman woman wears an antler hat. dresses in crimson and brown, and holds her crow-headed staff to the storm. Autumn leaves spiral out of control around her, as the whirlwind shakes the world

SENTENCE

Pull and release, push to the limit. The eye is the only peaceful place that can be.

GOING DARK

There is time to find and release our power Like a spring that had been compressed to the point it has lost the memory of motion and movement. Yet... there is power inside it. Finding it. is called “empow­erment' It starts from the belief in our power. In our ability to cope, to fight, to endure, to overcome a challenge However, too often we are encouraged to see empowerment as something that happens only with­in, in our psychological space. We are not necessarily islands We can borrow the power of the world around, the context, the environment, the expectations. We do not control the storm, we just call it. To call the storm, we need not to fear it. and this is what will make us strong. After the storm there is always sun. So. . if the sky has been grey for too long time, its lime not to fear the storm, but to embrace it. It will grow up and devour our chains and our jailers. And it will hurt us as well. But it will be healthier than just stare at the chilly rain We can restart, only after we let ourself end.

\ro\i\n \i

Moon Phase (Stage Waning Gibbous      Depression

Accepting the full burden of responsibility. The fair, us well the unfair, with no discount.

VISUAL SEED

A woman with long wet hair, stares at the haze of a rising sun. Her lop is naked, but we can see only her back Many swords pierce her body, but no blood is shed. She opens her anns and droplet of water fall from her hands.

SENTENCE

Accepting pain is a way to survive the pain Not all things burn, but some should.

GOING DARK

Atonement is about paying the bills. Unadulterated. Unfiltered Not negotiated. It is about full and open acceptance of consequences. And a little more. It is also about paying for the price of others. Letting go of all “ifs" and "buts”, and taking it all in. Whether it's ours to take or another's to shoulder. If you have a piece of what puts you at fault, normally, you would try to separate it, and weight it evenly with what makes the other al fault, and with what you made it right. A little for a little. But it rarely does it move anything forward. Sometimes, we need a clean slate. And it's done by going though it all. Paying more than is due To create closure. For yourself For others. You take the dark in. so that others can stay in the light. Even if they don't deserve it. Even if you don't deserve it

T()1)W FOR IOMORROU

Moon Phase               Stage

Full                      Acceptance

Hope is in the present. It's the briclt we use to build the future on.

VISUAL SEED

Mother and daughter, or maybe twins. Or the same person in different times? Red hair, a black dress, standing at the top of some stairs, under the moon. in the wind

SENTENCE

I want it some. 1 want it later. Gently.

GOING DARK

h may seem like a tradeoff. To sacrifice the present in order to secure a better future. That's what ants do Or to sacrifice the future to enjoy a better present. Cicadas do this. Either choice holds a bitter taste. It's like watching a child play Shouldn't she study? And if she were study­ing. wouldn't she regret not playing more? You meet a person you are attracted to Do you go past and let it stay in the fantasy, or you make a move and follow it through to the ephemeral ending? The endless choice between regret and remorse. What if... for once we turn our back to the dark? We do the unexpected and we shred it like an used dress. We can walk by the sea. as no one is around and we skinny dip out of our worries The present and the future are one single integrated connection. There is no choice because the road is only one. What we are today and what we are tomorrow, may be different, but it is the same person.